Being That Rainbow Child
by LyricsArePoetry
Summary: Callie Rose finds a video of Sephy singing Rainbow Child. Dedicated to Paula545


A/N: Like my last one-shot Noughts and Crosses story this is also Paula545's fault! :P! Thankz Paula! Please R&R.

**Being That Rainbow Child:**

Callie Rose is twelve:

I watched with a small frown on my face. I had found this video lying around in Nana Meggie's room. Was this my Mum? Was this _really _my Mum? She looked so different here - so young, so innocent, so _passionate. _I was hooked from the first moment of it. Mum was about eighteen, the age, I realised, she was when I was born. This must've just after I was born. On the stage with Mum was Sonny. Wow didn't he look different as a young adult. There were two other men on the stage who were obviously Jaxon and Rhino from the group Mum was in when I was a baby; The Midges.

'This one's for my daughter, Rose,' said Mum.

I froze, staring at the TV in shock. Mum was going to sing a song for me.

The band started the music and Mum started singing;

"_You bring a sweet embrace  
And with the smile upon your face  
You bring me grace, my rainbow child,  
You bring me autumn days,  
Turn my face to golden rays,  
You bring me bliss, my rainbow child"_

I recognised the song from the first line. _Rainbow Child_ was a popular song when I was a baby. A whole lifetime ago. _My _whole lifetime ago. I couldn't understand why Mum had dedicated this song to me. I mean I could understand how further on in the song it could reflect me, but not this bit. Only if Mum really loved me could the whole song reflect me and it was so obvious she didn't, so this doesn't make sense.

"_And what was life before you?  
And do you know how I adore you?  
And it scares me how I feel,  
All my past scars fade and heal,  
When I hold my rainbow child."_

Normally I would've laughed with bitter sarcasm at this but I didn't. I found myself mesmerised. These words were coming out of my Mum's mouth, dedicated to me. She was singing with passion. This was wrong, this was so wrong. My Mum didn't _adore _me, she…she hated me. I thought she hated me, she acted like she hated me. Was she being sarcastic singing this? Or did she feel this way at the time? Did I make the past better? If so what happened for her to stop feeling like that? What happened to make her so distant from me?

"_You bring a quiet time,  
Life has meaning, thoughts have rhyme,  
You bring me peace, my rainbow child.  
You bring down all my fences,  
You invade my heart and senses,  
You bring me hope, my rainbow child."_

Hope? I brought my Mum hope? There was no way that was right. Was it? A felt a salty tear run down my face as I thought about how Mum and me are. We barely talk and we hide so much from each other. I know she's hiding stuff from me, sometimes there's just so much I want to ask her but I never actually get around to asking it. And I'm hiding things from her. Sometimes it feels like I'm hiding so much that she doesn't even know me at all.

"_And what was life before you?  
And do you know how I adore you?  
And it scares me how I feel,  
All my past scars fade and heal,  
When I hold my rainbow child." _

I found myself singing along as the next verse started:

"_Take a look,  
Stop and stare,  
Love is shining,  
Everywhere,  
There is nothing  
Left to fear,  
I am with you  
Always near  
And if this world should make me bleed  
I'll remember you're all I need._"

I thought about it. Mum was always there for me, she was, she'd tell me I wasn't half anything if someone called me a 'halfer', she'd kiss my forehead if I was hurt, she'd brush off a skinned knee but that was all. There was never any warmth, never a comforting hug, never the safe feeling of love.

"_You bring the blinding light,  
You bring the stars at night,  
You bring me love, my rainbow child.  
You're all the colours that I see,  
You mean everything to me.  
Yes, you will always be, my rainbow child."_

'You're all the colours' that was my favourite bit of the song. It was me completely. Not nought, not Cross. Both and neither. But while the world tried to make it seem like a bad thing, this song made it seem like a good thing. Is this how Mum saw me? Her rainbow child? Her everything? I wanted to believe it; I wanted this video and this song to restore my faith in my Mum. I wanted it to give me the bravery to ask her the million questions I wanted to. I wanted to use it to sort out whatever was wrong with her. I wanted to find out while it felt like she couldn't love me.

"_And what was life before you?  
And do you know how I adore you?  
And it scares me how I feel,  
All my past scars fade and heal,  
When I hold my rainbow child." _

More tears were falling down my face now. What had happened? Why did Mum dedicate this song to me? How did I know it so well? It was a distant memory, I hadn't heard the song for years and yet I still remembered the words well enough to sing along halfway through. Why was this song so important? If I was my Mum's rainbow child - her everything - why did it feel like she didn't love me?

I guess I'll never know. I flicked the video out of the player after the audience cheered and Mum thanked them. I was so confused about that song and everything about Mum, but I didn't want to ask her. I didn't know how to, it was too hard, too complicated. It was easier to never tell her that I saw this video. It was just easier.


End file.
